While doing this workshop, part of the process of healing is being willing to dive deep into your soul. There are parts of us that we try to hide because we feel they are bad, or we’re not particularly fond of them, so we try to hide those parts from others or pretend like they’re not there. Many times, we feel shame about these darker parts of ourselves.

Psychologist, Carl Jung, coined the term shadow to refer to both our deepest wounds and the parts of ourselves that we repress or try to hide.

Our deepest wounds have us believing that we're unworthy, unlovable, highly flawed, rejected, unseen or unheard. These wounds are often created in childhood, but can sometimes develop later in life.

Sometimes, these wounds may express themselves in the form of anger, bitterness, resentment, greed, and jealousy.

When you start to acknowledge these parts of yourself, you start to bring more awareness to them. Whether we like it or not, they are a part of us, so they deserve to be looked at. When you repress them, it creates blockages in your energetic system. When you begin to bring more awareness to them instead of resist them, you can begin to heal, which leads to ultimate acceptance of yourself and a much more peaceful way of being.

We all have dark parts of the soul. We are light, and we are dark. When we can accept both the light and dark, we become more whole.

Key steps to doing shadow work

There are no bad emotions

As we become more self-aware, we begin to notice even the smallest reaction to things.

Negative emotions are portals into shadow work. They help us identify these wounds so that we can finally begin to look at them.

When you feel an emotion, ask yourself: What am I feeling, and why am I feeling this way?

As you do this, you will learn more about yourself, what makes you tick and why.

Identify the shadow

Identifying the shadow can be tricky. It's such an integral part of our psyche that it can be difficult to see.

The first step is to become aware of repeating patterns in your life. Do you experience the same problems over and over again? These patterns can help identify the shadow parts of ourselves.

Common shadow beliefs may include:

I am not good enough.

I am unloveable.

I am not worthy.

My feelings are not valid.

I must take care of everyone around me.

Why can't I just be normal?

Have compassion

We can be so hard on ourselves and on others. And while it's important to recognize key themes that have influenced us, particularly in childhood, we must forgive those who hurt us in order to heal and move forward.

Try to navigate that by recognizing how others' behavior may have influenced you while understanding they did the best they knew how, and that they too have their own wounds.

Nurture your inner child

Childhood traumas, or the way we were parented, can result in deep wounds that create behavioral and emotional patterns. These patterns become our sense of normal so in most cases, we're not aware of them. It takes self-awareness to identify these patterns.

Once you acknowledge them, it's important to love and accept them. Forgive yourself and others, and then have the courage to develop healthy patterns and beliefs. Peace comes from loving every part of your journey, even the dark times.

SHADOW WORK

For this exercise, you will begin to ask yourself questions that you may not have given much thought to before. If any of the questions make you feel uncomfortable, lean into that feeling and ask yourself why it makes you feel that way.

Then you will begin to purge your emotions on paper about anything or anyone currently disturbing your peace.

Before journaling, take a few deep breaths and set your intention. It is a good time to clear your energy with palo santo or sage prior to beginning this exercise. It can be very transformative doing this kind of inner work, so take your time with it. You can do it as often as you like. Sometimes it’s a good practice to do on the night of a full moon or on solstices.

SUPPLIES

Journal

Pen

Candle

Ceramic dish (for burning), or other nonflammable area, such as a fireplace, concrete patio, or your driveway

JOURNAL PROMPTS

Where in my life is beauty?

Where do I feel the most free?

Where do I feel the most myself?

Who are the people that energize me?

Who do I have the most fun with?

What makes me feel most alive?

When was the last time I was totally on track?

What was I doing?

Who really sees me?

What makes me feel good?

What do I complain about?

Who do I complain about?

Who drains my energy?

What am I doing out of a sense of duty?

What dreams do I have?

What dreams am I living?

What is holding me back from living my dreams?

EMOTIONAL PURGE WRITING

This exercise works best if you just keep writing and don’t stop to think about what you’ll write next or self-edit. Forget about punctuation or making your handwriting pretty, even legible. In fact you may get to the point where your emotions are flowing so fast and furiously that you can’t even write real words. That’s great. Just keep the pen in contact with the paper and let the thoughts roll out of you. This isn’t a time to be polite or fair. This is your side of the story.

Also, at the end of the exercise you’ll be burning the pages you’ve written, so as you write there’s no reason to worry about anyone else reading them. Burning the page, which happens at the end of the exercise, allows us to purge even more of that charge and serves as a symbol of letting go. If you can release negative energy on a regular basis, it doesn’t accumulate.

DIRECTIONS

1. Before you begin, get a notebook and pen and find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Sit down and set a timer for twelve minutes.

2. Open your notebook and simply start writing about whatever is disturbing your peace. It could be your health, job, finances, personal relationships, or anything else. Don’t think about it too much—just start.

3. At the end of twelve minutes, stop writing. Immediately burn the pages either in your ceramic dish, or a nonflammable area like a concrete patio, your driveway, fireplace, or barbecue and set them on fire. Don’t just tear them up. Fire is transformative and cleansing. Your goal is to neutralize the negative energy, and fire does that by changing the chemical composition of the paper to ash.

TIPS

As you finish each writing session, don’t read over what you’ve written! To do this is to reinfect yourself with the negative energy.

Don’t do this on a computer or other electronic device. You want a physical energetic connection between you and the materials you’re using—the pen and the paper—so that you can expel as much of the emotional charge as possible. That’s why this exercise must be done in your own handwriting.

You may use lots of powerful, negatively charged words during this process to discharge pain, but remember to never direct them toward yourself. Be kind to yourself and know that you have every right to feel what you feel.

INNER CHILD WORK

Boundaries: These are based on your feelings, so tune into your feelings and learn how to say what you need. It involves saying “no”, telling people what's not acceptable for you, and learning to accept the emotions that come up when people object your boundaries (that's a hard one!).

Cultivating self-awareness: Identify the ego and the wounded child within. Break the subconscious patterns through journaling & meditation.

Positive affirmations: “I am worthy” “I am loved” “I am on the path to healing”

Discipline: Establish new rituals and habits and commit to them. Showing up for yourself and working through resistance will help you build self-worth and confidence.

Connecting with nature: Hiking, taking walks, observing nature, and disconnecting from all the noise.

Play and explore: Be curious and open. Try new things and perhaps even do things that you used to love doing as a child. Learn to play an instrument, read a book, take a workshop.