How to Truly Accept Yourself

(a helpful practice is listed below)

There have been many times in my life when I didn't like who I was, who I had become.

I remember when I was an awkward, artsy kid with big glasses, a huge grin with teeth I hadn't grown into yet, with a big heart and an innocence that many people took advantage of. I wore whatever I wanted to wear, without caring what anyone else thought. I loved making art without needing someone else to like it.

I later became a teen who rebelled against my parents, and suddenly cared what other people thought. I was embarrassed about who I was. I thought my arms and legs were too skinny, so I wore long pants and a jacket in school all day to hide them. I stuffed my bra freshmen year of high school and started to wear makeup in hopes of impressing boys.

I stopped working so hard in school because I thought it was cool, instead of being the over achiever I naturally was.

I desperately wanted to fit in, so much so that I started to go by my middle name Nicole, just because it seemed like a "normal" name.

Then as a young adult I left my parents house at 18 and totally embraced my weirdness again. I was attracted to everything strange and eccentric, from the arts, to music, fashion, and people. I was wearing and doing things that made me feel good, alive. It lit up something inside of me, and I had never felt more free.

I was free to express myself deeply, and without shame.

It is when we attach shame to what we do, what we think, what we look like, who we fuck, where we live, where we came from, how much money we have, how much money we don't have, that we start to feel bad about these parts of ourselves.

But why do we seem to care so much about what other people think?

Because we're human.

We all have that innate desire within us to belong, to feel accepted.

We have wanted that since we were babies, and some of us got that from our parents, but only when they were able to provide that. Because let's face it, even our parents are human and they too have their own set of traumas, emotions, triggers and stresses. Sometimes they weren't always available to give us what we needed, emotionally.

Not to mention the ancestral trauma that many carry within our lineage as being cast out of the tribe, the community, sometimes even our country. Sometimes we were tortured, ridiculed, stoned, hung, and burned at the stake for expressing ourselves.

I mean, it's no wonder why we have these natural innate desires, and try to hide parts of ourselves that may be perceived as weird, odd, strange or different.

We are all unique, different. We all have our quirks, parts of ourselves that we feel are weird.

So instead of trying to hide them, why don't we fully accept them?

That is where the real work lies. To truly know thyself - all of yourself. The parts of yourself that you feel are good, and the parts of yourself that you feel are not so good.

Whether "good or bad", they are you.

We can continue to resist these parts of ourselves, but when we do, it cuts us off from our true essence. Our true self. And it is from our true self that we can feel peace, joy, bliss, and confidence. Where we can stand in the truth of who we are without shame.

This isn't easy, I know.

It is the work I will forever commit to in this lifetime, the work that my soul craves.

We chose to enter this world - to have the experiences we need in order for our souls to learn, grow and evolve.

I am learning more about myself every day. How I react to things, to the world, to other people.

I am learning about my triggers, what makes me tick and why. I am learning more about my generational patterns, and bringing more awareness to them so that I can help shift them for the generations to follow and heal the ones that came before me.

I am learning why I am attracted to certain things, and others I am disgusted by. I am learning about my sexuality and the power that lies within my being a fully sensual being. I am learning about my ability to create in this world and in my life.

I am learning about the impact my decisions make on others and the world around me. I am learning that not everything should be seen in black and white - that there is no such thing as "good" and "bad", only perspective and lack of understanding a different side.

I am learning that there is so much more than what we see, smell, touch and feel. We are part of something bigger, greater than ourselves.

Dedicate your life to the real learning, acceptance of yourself as who you have been, who you are, and the full potential of who you can be. Life is ever-changing, and so are we.

Learn to enjoy the process instead of beating yourself up over it. When you do, you will soar to new heights.

PRACTICE

Sit in front of a mirror and stare into your eyes for at least 15 minutes. Don’t do anything else but just stare into your eyes. See what comes up for you, how you feel. Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Do any emotions comes up? Do you feel nothing? Whatever comes up for you, just observe it. You can even journal what you felt and experienced during this practice after you’re done. Come back to the practice again and see if anything else comes up for you. Continue to observe yourself, and note any changes.